ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
