too bad you live with your parents still
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
