You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
