Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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