i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had sex on a roof
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
