remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
