I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
