I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
