I cockslap morals
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
