3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
