Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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