How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
