I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
