Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
