do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
