Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
