Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
