I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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