So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
