Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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