I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
