kristin has been a bad kristin
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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