I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
