Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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