I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
