i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
