i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
