i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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