Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
