HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
