I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
