Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
