so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
