just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
