put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
