Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
