Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
