please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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