Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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