I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
