I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
