Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
