Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
