can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
