Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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