im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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