Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
