so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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