i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
