are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
